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31 August 2010 @ 08:40 am
fic. Delirium | Chapter One  
Author: thewordmap
Genre: Fanfiction
Fandom: The Hunger Games
Characters/Pairings: Katniss/Gale, Katniss/Peeta, other
Rating: PG-13 Just in cas
Spoilers: Post-Mockingjay, non-epilogue


Chapter One

Hunting is not what it used to be, especially without Gale as my partner. I miss our sync, our silent agreements, the way we go so seamlessly together. Every time I pass by our rock, I'm overwhelmed with emotions. Now sitting on top of it, all I can do is cry. I cry for Gale, for Prim, and for hte mother that will never forgive me.

I don't keep track of time so when I straighten myself out, dryin gthe last tears from my eyes, I'm suprised the sky has turned darker.

And I'm not alone.

Peeta watches me from afar, his arms hanging limply by his side, his blonde hair messy and his forehead covered with a thin sheet of sweat. For a moment, my body tenses and I'm ready to run, worrying this isn't the Peeta I love.

But then he comes closer, wrapping his muscled arms around me. I start crying again, but only because he loves me and I love him, despite the fact that all I've ever done is hurt him.

"What are you thinking about, Katniss?" he asks. I can feel his hot breath against my neck.

Peeta. I'll never love anyone the way that I love him. I love him with all of me, even the broken parts. Even with the part of me that knows that I don't deserve him.

District 12 lies in ashes, dead and rotten. I feel just like that inside. No matter how much Peeta and I love each other, he can never be what Gale was to me.

Of course I can't tell Peeta any of this. Not even if I want to hurt him because this...this ould destroy him beyond death.

Instead, I reveal half of it. "I miss her," I say. I almost feel selfish for doing it. He's lost everyone and only has me. He has to deal with my losses, too.

He pulls away and meets his lips with mine. Soft, safe...comforting.

That's what Peeta is...comfort.

Everything in Gale is destruction, war, and the face of Prim forever imprinted on his hands. Her blood staining his fingers.

But they're staining mine, too.

"We should get back," Peeta says, grabbing my hand. In the end, though, he picks me up. I'm too far gone to respond.

*

Greasy Sae is waiting in the kitchen for us with enough good to feed an army.

War.

I push the thought away before I go back to delirium.. I examine my plate. An abundance of rice--something we never atebefore--and a bowl of her wild dog stew. At that moment, my stomach grumbles so loudly, it doesn't take a second for me to start pushing food down my throat.

Peeta, much more civilized, of couse, eats slowly and not at all repulsed by me. Not that I care, especially after what we've been through.

When I finish, I'm too tired to even think. I tell Peeta I'm going to bed. He nods, still eating, and says, "I'll come, if you want."

"No, it's okay," I answer. "You've been great today."

I move upstairs trying to think about anyone but Prim. Anyone but him. I undress, crawling into bed in just my underwear, nt caring who sees me.

The second I put my head on the pillow, the nightmares begin.

 
 
 
CANTHIScyyt on August 31st, 2010 12:57 pm (UTC)
I.CON.

*DEAD*
The Word Mapthewordmap on August 31st, 2010 01:00 pm (UTC)
LOl. I'm not sure what to make of your comment :P
CANTHIScyyt on August 31st, 2010 01:17 pm (UTC)
HAHA. I just LOVE quotes, so HUNGER GAMES+QUOTE = WIN

I saw it was from __vintagebomb, and I went over to see the post! HAHA. I love her Dramione icons/manips!